korsriddare | (no subject)

LJ stalking horror - a report by Korsriddare.

kristalla13 is stalking Korsriddare
kristalla13's REAL name :	Delma Hacker
kristalla13's REAL DOB :	22nd October 1988
Height :164 cm	Weight : 67.2 kg
kristalla13 has dreamt about you :	7 times
kristalla13 became interested in you :	17th October 2005
kristalla13's latest dream about you
You are stranded with kristalla13 on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how kristalla13 describes your relationship behind your back
'Things are going great! he still won't kiss me though in public. he will once I stop calling him in the middle of the night.'
kristalla13's been stealing stuff from your house too.
kristalla13 wouldn't admit to it, but they were responsible for the sudden disappearence of Korsriddare's wristwatch
They've even started modifying their body for you
kristalla13 spent a worrying amount of money tattooing your name, spelt in chinese symbols down the side of their legs.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
I think I love you. Actually I know I love you. The ouijaboard said it was true. It told me to tell you that if you do not reciprocate my love you'll get an arrow in the head.

The Police
No. calls to the police :	9 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Dear Jesus no! Send around a squad car quick, I've just killed someone. Their name is kristalla13. Stop bloody laughing! That's their real name! kristalla13 threatened to kill me on multiple occasions and they came around tonight to finish off the job so I used my lava lamp in self defense and now the bastards on the ground without a pulse."
kristalla13's Police File
When kristalla13 last spent time inside even the most hardened criminals feared for their lives when they were near him.

Testimonies about kristalla13

geroithe - Charlie Manson's long-lost sibling

'kristalla13 was a depressing bore and I'm fucking glad they've been outted as a twat. Means I won't have to deal with them ever again. Hip-hip-horray.'

justifiedwings - A deformed enuch

'Surprise Surprise, kristalla13's a dirty fucker? Tell me something different.'

thalassomania - Ex-priest

'I always thought kristalla13 was a good kid. A bit shy but with a kind heart. How wrong was I?'

Hmmm.